Reaction?

I wonder if everyone has a negative reaction of some sort to being given an "all clear" message. I hope so. If not, then I wonder why I'm feeling really negative about things at the moment. You'd think, wouldn't you, that I'd be feeling wonderful, positive, happy, optimistic and so on - after all, the longer I stay clear of cancer, the less chance there is of a reoccurence - and, yes, I do feel relieved to have had the "all clear" again. Last week I decided to change my image for a symbolic 'rebirth' of sorts and that felt good. But after every high, there's a low; since the hospital visit, I've been very restless - I was twitchy before that day, but I thought that was because I was anxious about the outcome of the examination. It seems it may have been more than that; there's so much to do and to see in life - and that life is so short. Every time I see Nurse, I receive a real reminder of the brevity of our existence - and meditating upon eternity is not that easy! That isn't to say I have any fear of that eternity now - gazing upon it at close quarters does relieve you of that, I've found - but I'd rather not get more closely acquainted before I've done a lot more with my life!