Waiting

Since my last post, I've had further dealings with the optician and with my GP. The former called me on receipt of an electronic customer satisfaction form. I had indicated I wasn't satisfied with being told I was to be referred to a consultant ophthalmologist and hustled out into the street with no time to ask questions (my GP wasn't impressed either). The outcome of the conversation, other than promising to consider the effect on the customer of such treatment, was that the optician said, 'But if we'd thought it was anything sinister, we'd have referred you immediately rather than in 2 months' time'. 

Meanwhile, my GP had to chase them to get the referral report and read it to me over the phone. It seems that I have raised optic nerve heads in both eyes, not just in one. The referral said, 'Urgent 6-8 weeks'. Two points on which what I was told differed from what the GP was told. Having talked this through with my GP, she tells me that nothing in the report 'rings alarm bells' for her, that it could well be a congenital abnormality, especially since both eyes are affected, and that 6 - 8 weeks isn't urgent as far as she's concerned, though 2 weeks would be. She's also promised to ensure I'm referred to my local hospital rather than to the city hospital.

And now it's just a case of waiting and imagining all the things it might be. Even though both optician and GP have indicated they don't think it's anything to worry about, my mind keeps straying back to being told by the consultant who was performing a hysteroscopy for me that, having examined me, 'I'm sure it's not cancer'. He told me this three times during the consultation immediately after the examination. Six days later, my own consultant informed me that it was cancer. Is it surprising I'm not entirely reassured this time?