Moving on? Or not?

I've been quiet for a while here, partly because I was fulfilling my dream of seeing the Northern Lights but partly because I've been reflecting on how I define myself and how this blog fits into that definition.

There comes a point, it seems to me, at which you have to move on from, 'I had cancer', and simply get on with life. If you don't, you become defined as 'someone who's had cancer' and you get stuck there, imprisoned forever as a victim. Well, if there's one thing that doesn't define me, it's that concept of 'victim'! So, I've been questioning where I go next. Do I continue to maintain this blog, or does that place me firmly in the 'victim' camp? If I do maintain it, will I also maintain the resentment I feel towards the health service that didn't diagnose me early enough to avoid radiotherapy despite my repeated visits to my GP? Do I want to maintain that resentment? 

At what point does a blog that's intended to help me and provide information for anyone who's been diagnosed and wonders what happens next become destructive rather than constructive? Is five years long enough?

I've been wrestling with all these questions recently. I haven't really reached a conclusion - other than that I know my life is not defined by my cancer. That was a diversion on my journey. A nasty one, but a diversion nevertheless. Does that make it less worthwhile to consider its effects? Not really. My entire view of life changed when I was diagnosed. I may no longer have a stressful and 'important' job and I may now find it difficult to make ends meet each month, but I do see the world very differently.

So, it's time to move on with life. I've decided that I'll post here from time to time, sometimes more, sometimes less, but I'm not going to worry if I miss a month or two. I'll be back - but when I'm not here, I'll be making the most of the extra time I've been given to appreciate living.

Don't go away - just watch this space...