Downtime

Ok, I admit it. It isn't always as good as you may think from reading my blog. I've made an excellent recovery from surgery and radiotherapy, but there are times when I know that I've had a difficult year. The last few days have not been the best. I've mentioned before that I find that if I get tired it can take longer to get over that now. By the end of last week, I'd got very tired, preparing the holiday house for occupation. I was thrilled that I'd been able to move heavy loads of rubbish and rubble to the municipal dump, and I was delighted that I was able to prepare things myself. But, by the middle of last week, I was beginning to feel as tired as I had done before my cancer was diagnosed. By Saturday, when the visitors moved into the house for the week, I could scarcely keep my eyes open, and every muscle ached. So, receiving an irate phone call from a neighbour within two hours of the guests' arrival to tell me they had parked in exactly the place they'd been told not to park, and having to deal with that was not the best start ever to a small business. In fact, it really upset me, and I've been finding it difficult to sleep since then, as I keep expecting another irate call. So, three days later, I'm at least as tired as I was on Saturday afternoon. The awful, dragging tiredness I experienced for several years has returned, and I don't seem to be able to escape from it. I don't really think it's anything more than a symptom of having overdone things, both physically and emotionally, but that little niggle at the back of my brain is always there.

So, what I've realised recently is that just because the cancer's gone, it doesn't mean you'll always feel incredibly well and energetic. Now, I have to learn to accept that and not to worry - unless the tiredness persists for more than a week or so!