600th post

Apparently, this is my 600th post in this blog. I didn't imagine when I began to write it that I'd still be going 600 posts later. In fact, I didn't imagine I'd still be going. When I began writing this, not only was I convinced I'd be lucky to make it to the end of 2007, I didn't want to get to the end of 2007. I felt better than I did before surgery, but I still felt ill, and the thought of going through radiotherapy alone, driving to the hospital all by myself every day and coming home to an empty house didn't encourage me to want to recover.

I'm still here though! And now, I look back at the me I was then and realise that it was the illness and its aftermath talking to me. As I've recovered, I've understood more each day how hard it is to do this alone, but, in fact, I haven't been alone: I have fantastic friends who've been with me every step of the way, even though I haven't always realised it or appreciated them enough. Yes, it would have been nice to have had someone to sit in the waiting room with me for the 6 weeks of radiotherapy. Yes, it would have been nice to have had someone drive me to the hospital and home again. And yes, it would have been nice to have had someone make me a cup of tea each day when I got home after treatment. However, despite having felt sorrier for myself than I may have indicated in this blog, I've been a great deal luckier than many. I could drive myself to and from the hospital; I could make my own cup of tea when I got home; I suppose I could have talked to myself in the waiting room, too, but maybe that would have looked a bit odd! Though, on reflection, I now wonder how I managed not to give up - and there were times when that was a very attractive option - I did make it through and I didn't give up! It's a bit like walking in snow until it seems easier simply to lie down and go to sleep, I suppose; you have to fight the urge to do so. Without my friends, I probably would have lain down and slept.

Today, the importance of a good support network, even if it's geographically far away, reasserted itself. I heard from my oldest friend who'd just caught up with my blog. Her unadulterated joy at my discharge moved me more than I could have imagined. 

So, today's thought? Even if you think you can't help someone with cancer, just being there to support them, to send a message from time to time and to let them know you care is the greatest help you can offer. Without that, and my dogs' need to be cared for, I wouldn't be here to write my 600th blog post.

Thank you, my friends - and thank you my four-legged, wet-nosed boys!