It's a week now, since I was discharged from the Cancer Care Unit. I've had time to reflect, and yet my mind is still spinning around the whole experience. Somehow, I thought that once I got that final discharge, I'd be incredibly excited, overjoyed and generally thrilled. For about an hour, I was, and then it all felt like a huge anticlimax.
Although friends were pleased with the news, the reaction wasn't as ecstatic as I'd imagined it might be, probably because I'd been thinking about how my parents would have responded, and parents are parents and friends are friends. When I was really ill, I received a huge amount of support, but very few people even seemed to register what a big event it was for me to be given that discharge. Some did, of course, but there was a distinct lack of excitement on the whole! I'm not sure why I expected a more upbeat reaction - after all, I've just been given official confirmation of what everyone knew anyway; I'm absolutely fine and cancer-free. I think I've been longing for freedom from the Cancer Care Unit for so long now that I'd built it up in my mind to be a huge event and, of course, it wasn't.
Now, I'm thinking about how to raise some money for cancer research and what I can do to put something back in return for the care and support I've had. And I want to do something to thank everyone who's been on this journey with me - although I'm feeling a bit flat at the moment, I want you to know how much your support has meant to me; I couldn't have done it without you, and I'll never be able to express my gratitude sufficiently. Without a great support network around the world, it would all have been so much worse than it was.
2 comments:
Lesley this is terrific news I am so pleased. I have been following your blog for some time although I have never commented because my husband had cancer but his returned 4 years after diagnosis and he died last April. It is so heartening to hear of people getting the all clear. So all I can do is to wish you the very best for the future and for good health.
I was at Westfield with you which is how I came across your blog.In those days my name was Claire Templeton. I have blogged about my husband's illness and subsequently about life as a widow. A whole new experience.
Once again all the very best for the future.
Thank you for your comment Claire. I'm so sorry to hear about your husband and feel very lucky to be here still. I would be happy to read your blog and to add it to my 'blogs I read' list (which is woefully empty at present) if you would share the url.
I wish you strength and happy memories, and hope to hear good news from you one day.
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