That nagging little voice

I've said it before but, at the risk of repeating myself, I often find it hard to connect "cancer" with my own life. When I reflect on what's happened over the last few years, I find it very strange to think that I am the person who had cancer. I don't feel as though I've had cancer - although you might well ask, "How should a person who's had cancer feel, then?" - and yet I know that I have. However, whenever I start to brood on that, I remember what Nurse said to me, namely, "You're someone who's had cancer. You haven't got it now!"

Recently, I've heard of a few people who've had recurrences, though mainly fairly quickly after the original diagnosis and treatment. That does tend to trigger concern, though, not only for those people, but also for myself; at three in the morning, that subconscious voice that worries about these things will wake me up to say, "Are you sure that ache / pain / itch / twitch isn't the cancer come back for you?" I suppose that voice will stay with me for the rest of my life - I know people who had cancer decades ago who tell me that you never lose the worry once it's happened - but I do wonder if one day it might be right and, if it is, what I'll do about it...