Christmas Day. The weather is the same as last year - foggy and damp - but that's the only thing about this year that hasn't changed.
Last Christmas Day, I was waiting to go into hospital for the first time in my life - and for major surgery at that! I really don't remember very much about the day because my mind was full of terror and even lunch with my neighbour didn't make any difference. The only thing I recall is deciding that if I wasn't going to survive the operation, I needed to view the countryside around me one last time. So, Christmas morning was spent in the car, driving around and trying to stifle the fear.
This year, things are very different. I did, as you know, survive surgery. My health continues to improve. I might go for a country drive this morning (yes, I know, the carbon footprint will be terrible) and then I'm having lunch with my very kind neighbours. This time, though, I'll be with them in spirit as well as in body, though a few of my thoughts will be with my godfather who is very ill, and with his family. I know how awful it is to be waiting for news at Christmas and my sympathy and love goes out to all of them.
For me, though, surgery was the best option I had - and it turned out to be the right thing to do. So, if you're waiting for medical test results or you have to go to hospital, you're probably feeling anxious right now. So was I. Somehow, though, when it's something really important, the terror subsides and you get through it. And there is life beyond cancer, as I've discovered.
Happy Christmas!
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