Ridiculous, isn't it? I went for all my pre-diagnosis tests, and even the diagnosis, without feeling particularly worried, even though I had a good idea of what the problem was. Today, for my first post-treatment consultation, I feel nauseous, have a headache and I can feel that my blood pressure is rising and my heart rate increasing as the appointment approaches. Maybe everyone feels like this when they have to go for the post-treatment consultations, but it's not something you really hear about, unless someone tells you (and thank you to the person who's been providing me with support and details of their own experience - it's really been helpful to know that my reactions are not unusual).
Why is it that the post-treatment clinics are always in the afternoon? You have to wait around all morning, worrying, drive to the hospital, find somewhere to park (not easy) and then, after the consultation, whatever the outcome, battle your way home through rush hour traffic - in this case, weekend rush hour traffic.
I didn't think I'd be so nervous, but I am.
More later.
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